I was just laying here unable to sleep at night, thinking about something we saw yesterday.
We walked out of the shopping mall, headed for home after a full evening of fun. A feast awaited us (turkey roasting in our oven...explanation to come in another post). As we left the mall, we saw a little girl about Lo's age spread-eagled on the ground sleeping. I glanced around for her caregivers and saw a couple sitting, also on the ground about 10 yards away from the child. I asked them, "Is this your baby?" And they nodded assent. The mother had red eyes. Crying or drugs?
Once we got in our car, Jerry and I concurred the family looked homeless, wearing clothes people don't normally wear in public, and having their baby asleep on the ground like that at 7-ish in the evening. Furthermore, the parents looked young. Teenagers. We drove home.
Our abundance strikes me. We have a guest bedroom with fresh sheets on the bed (I washed all the linens yesterday), more food than we can possibly consume (I threw out food yesterday that had gone bad due to us being too slow to eat it--common occurence), so many toys for our child that we have boxed away half of them to keep him from getting overwhelmed, etc. etc. Not to mention the innumerable friends and family who fill our lives with the non-tangible types of gifts. Truly, we are blessed.
I wish there was some way to share what we have with that family we saw. I wish the world was a safe enough place that we could have told them, "Come, get in our car, visit our home, sit at our table, eat of our food, rest in our beds, feel friendship and care from our hands."
I read Acts 2:44 and 4 Nep. 1:3. Pondering the law of consecration, and concept of "all things in common." Not a fan of communism, but still not sure what the answer should be...something along the lines of relying primarily on grassroots, NGO type organizations filling needs. Jerry and I donate to the poor in general through our church and feel good about the percentage of our income that goes to charity. But anyway, I don't want to get into the technical stuff for this post. I'm pondering a different angle of this issue. Yesterday I read in our church manual Behold Your Little Ones. At the time I read it, I recall being impressed by a phrase about sharing, so just now I re-read the whole lesson on sharing. I love the role playing, parents and teachers leading by example, and teaching from the scriptures. I also appreciate that the lesson cautions, "Do not force children to share." Forcing people to do anything invites resistance, breeds discontent, and is contrary to the agentic plan of happiness God has for us. I love how our church is full of commandments but we are invited to abide by them--ever having choice before us. But relying wholly on volunteerism to solve the inequalities of the world is a bit much to ask in a pre-millenial state of worldwide imperfection.
Just thinking. And looking forward to a day when Christ reigns on the earth in perfect government.
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
We just got back from a trip to Boise where we had Little's baby blessing. In our church, baptism is not performed on infants, but parents can choose to have their babies blessed by someone with authority. Since Jerry holds the priesthood, he got to bestow the blessing for our son. It was a special one compared to others I have heard, maybe mostly because it was for my own Little, but also because the opening included both Little's Chinese and English names. Grandpa Dean, Great-Grandpa Clark, and several uncles also participated. One of the members of the bishopric (seated on the stand above Little during the ordinance) told me afterward that as he was watching to make sure everything was done correctly, he had to smile because the baby was smiling, eyes alert and watching his daddy the whole time.After church we had a meal with friends and family. More pics of that and the rest of the trip to follow...though it may take me a couple days because we are still unpacking (ack).
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
The rest of the story
Just in time for Little Tam turning one month of age...the absurdly long, much hyped, over-anticipated birth story! And some BOP warning for those who care about that sort of thing.
Preliminaries
Halloween: a few days past Little Tam's EDD. I wakened at my usual insomniac 4am, and a bit later did a webcam conference with our Hong Kong family, then had a full day of fun at the zoo, forest park, duck pond, went shopping, got my hair cut, and finished the day with an evening at our friends’ home. While at our friends’ house carving pumpkins and passing out candy to trick or treaters, I felt exhausted and noticed occasional abdominal cramping but thought nothing of it. When my sweetheart and I returned home, we quickly prepared for sleep.
Early First Stage
As soon as I showered and tried to lay down, my cramping turned into a regular, systematic occurrence. The waves felt mildly uncomfortable, like the low belly ache I sometimes have felt with menstruation. It was interesting enough that I could not fall asleep through it. I told my husband it felt different than anything I had felt thus far in the pregnancy, and I thought this could be “it.” When I asked him to start timing the pressure waves, we both realized we were not sure exactly how to do it. After all our rehearsing! Were we supposed to time beginning of one to beginning of another? Or just the space between the end of one and the beginning of another? Duration meant what....? Oh dear. To add to the confusion, we also realized half my hypnosis scripts were still only on CD. We had wanted to transfer them all to MP3 files on my phone, so I could listen more easily in the car and at the hospital (the only way we have to play CDs is on our computer). So my husband went to do the transfer and I struggled to stay focused on my own, a bit perturbed with myself for not taking care of these little issues earlier. For a couple hours I listened to the hypnosis scripts. I do not recall which scripts I listened to—perhaps “birthing day,” even though I doubted this was truly my birthing time. I don’t know what I expected to feel, but mild menstrual cramping apparently wasn’t what I had imagined.
1:30 am-We telephoned our doula, Kathy. I remember feeling quite embarrassed, apologizing for waking her at such a terrible hour, and repeating, “I just don’t know if this is the real thing, but it feels different from what I felt any other time in this pregnancy…Oh, I don’t know!” She told me she was on her way. She had arrived 10 minutes late for the last birth she attended, missing the actual birth entirely, so we didn’t want to take any chances of her missing our sweet Little’s grand entrance. If we had known he would not be born until another thirty hours later, we would have told Kathy to take her time. =)
While Kathy drove from Connecticut (about an hour and a half away from us), my husband took a nap. Because of daylight savings taking effect that night, his phone automatically changed back one hour coincidentally during his nap. When he woke, he looked at the time on his phone and said, “Wait. Did I just sleep for two minutes only?” (in reality he slept for 1 hr 2 mins) I still smile about that. While he napped I got more comfortable and kept relaxing through the pressure waves (which were about every ten minutes apart). I ate some cottage cheese and tried to be diligent about drinking water as well. Once Kathy arrived I felt greatly reassured as her expertise and assistance helped me get more into the groove with my hypnosis. With each pressure wave, Kathy would massage my back and my sweet husband would recite portions of the scripts. I remember most hearing him say over and over again, “Your cervix is soft and dilating quickly.” As hours passed that night, I caught myself smiling through many of the pressure waves and feeling increasingly confident and happy. I made a lot of moaning type of vocalizations because it helped me focus and felt good.
Around 6 am?: pressure waves were five minutes apart and lasting one minute each. When we called the midwife, she recommended, "take a hot shower, and then if the waves are still that regular and frequent, call back." During the shower my husband kept timing the waves. They got less intense feeling while I was in the shower, with the waves becoming subdued and feeling as only a faint abdominal pressure. But they also got more closely spaced—four minutes apart now. The midwife said I could come to the birth center. While I walked into the birth center from the parking lot, I had several pressure waves, and with each one, I simply stopped walking to breathe through it. During one pressure wave, I knelt against the birth ball, and for another, leaned on a hand rail. Kathy and Jerry assisted as usual, and the two nurses who were walking with us into the building remarked on how impressed they were with our whole routine. When the midwife did an internal exam around 8am, my cervix was dilated to a 7. I felt triumphant and excited. One of the nurses said he had seen hypno births before, but mine seemed to be going exceptionally well. I agreed. I was eager to get in the birthing pool, but the midwife said she wanted to see me progressed a bit further. After awhile she checked me again and I was dilated to an 8. Around this time I had a hep lock put in for administration of antibiotics (I was GBS positive). In retrospect, I wish I had listened to a “change of plans” script for this procedure, because I felt some internal conflict about the concept of intrapartum antibiotics. I also had an IV several years ago, and remembered intensely disliking the feeling of an IV in my hand. My hypnosis wasn’t as effective to numb my hand as I would have like it to be. Again, I think listening to that “change of plans” script would have helped my brain accept and feel comfortable with the IV at this point.
1:30 am-We telephoned our doula, Kathy. I remember feeling quite embarrassed, apologizing for waking her at such a terrible hour, and repeating, “I just don’t know if this is the real thing, but it feels different from what I felt any other time in this pregnancy…Oh, I don’t know!” She told me she was on her way. She had arrived 10 minutes late for the last birth she attended, missing the actual birth entirely, so we didn’t want to take any chances of her missing our sweet Little’s grand entrance. If we had known he would not be born until another thirty hours later, we would have told Kathy to take her time. =)
While Kathy drove from Connecticut (about an hour and a half away from us), my husband took a nap. Because of daylight savings taking effect that night, his phone automatically changed back one hour coincidentally during his nap. When he woke, he looked at the time on his phone and said, “Wait. Did I just sleep for two minutes only?” (in reality he slept for 1 hr 2 mins) I still smile about that. While he napped I got more comfortable and kept relaxing through the pressure waves (which were about every ten minutes apart). I ate some cottage cheese and tried to be diligent about drinking water as well. Once Kathy arrived I felt greatly reassured as her expertise and assistance helped me get more into the groove with my hypnosis. With each pressure wave, Kathy would massage my back and my sweet husband would recite portions of the scripts. I remember most hearing him say over and over again, “Your cervix is soft and dilating quickly.” As hours passed that night, I caught myself smiling through many of the pressure waves and feeling increasingly confident and happy. I made a lot of moaning type of vocalizations because it helped me focus and felt good.
Around 6 am?: pressure waves were five minutes apart and lasting one minute each. When we called the midwife, she recommended, "take a hot shower, and then if the waves are still that regular and frequent, call back." During the shower my husband kept timing the waves. They got less intense feeling while I was in the shower, with the waves becoming subdued and feeling as only a faint abdominal pressure. But they also got more closely spaced—four minutes apart now. The midwife said I could come to the birth center. While I walked into the birth center from the parking lot, I had several pressure waves, and with each one, I simply stopped walking to breathe through it. During one pressure wave, I knelt against the birth ball, and for another, leaned on a hand rail. Kathy and Jerry assisted as usual, and the two nurses who were walking with us into the building remarked on how impressed they were with our whole routine. When the midwife did an internal exam around 8am, my cervix was dilated to a 7. I felt triumphant and excited. One of the nurses said he had seen hypno births before, but mine seemed to be going exceptionally well. I agreed. I was eager to get in the birthing pool, but the midwife said she wanted to see me progressed a bit further. After awhile she checked me again and I was dilated to an 8. Around this time I had a hep lock put in for administration of antibiotics (I was GBS positive). In retrospect, I wish I had listened to a “change of plans” script for this procedure, because I felt some internal conflict about the concept of intrapartum antibiotics. I also had an IV several years ago, and remembered intensely disliking the feeling of an IV in my hand. My hypnosis wasn’t as effective to numb my hand as I would have like it to be. Again, I think listening to that “change of plans” script would have helped my brain accept and feel comfortable with the IV at this point.
Pausing Point
My doula, my husband,
and I walked around the hospital grounds for a bit. As it was Sunday morning, a local church near the hospital had bells chiming. They delighted me. Overall at this time, I felt light and happy in my heart. I had quite a few intense pressure waves very closely spaced during the walk. I remember feeling like they came one on top of the other, with no chance to rest in between. When we returned from the walk, I got in the birth pool. I joked and smiled, ate ice cream and just generally felt like a queen. However, part way through my pool time the nurses had to attach my hep lock to the IV for another dose of antibiotics. The procedure distracted me from feeling comfortable in the water, and additionally the tub sides ended up being hard plastic and not as easy to relax against as I had imagined. My pressure waves almost stopped entirely while I was in the water, and I began to feel intense exhaustion after being awake for so many hours. I announced my intentions of taking a nap. The midwife said she would like to do an internal exam first, and when she found I was still only dilated 8 cm, she said I needed to stay up and moving around. She was concerned that I had not progressed for a few hours. I felt disappointed at her verdict, and again, was starting to feel sleep deprivation creeping up on me. My midwife’s concern sparked a bit of fear in my heart. She told me this stalled labor was a complication and began discussing changes that needed to be made to my birth plan. Again, a “change of plans” script would have been valuable at this point!! But we did not do it yet, I suppose because having never read this script, I did not realize how appropriate it would have been.
I got pretty upset when the second time the antibiotic was administered, it wasn’t mixed with saline (or whatever they do to make it feel less intense). My hand became puffy like a balloon, fingers unbendable, and it throbbed horribly. I asked to have the hep lock removed after the dose of antibiotic was finished and the request was denied because of safety reasons. I did a fear release session and realized my #1 fear was conflict with my midwife. We had only met once before the birth. I felt very uncomfortable with how we communicated with each other.
My doula, my husband,
and I walked around the hospital grounds for a bit. As it was Sunday morning, a local church near the hospital had bells chiming. They delighted me. Overall at this time, I felt light and happy in my heart. I had quite a few intense pressure waves very closely spaced during the walk. I remember feeling like they came one on top of the other, with no chance to rest in between. When we returned from the walk, I got in the birth pool. I joked and smiled, ate ice cream and just generally felt like a queen. However, part way through my pool time the nurses had to attach my hep lock to the IV for another dose of antibiotics. The procedure distracted me from feeling comfortable in the water, and additionally the tub sides ended up being hard plastic and not as easy to relax against as I had imagined. My pressure waves almost stopped entirely while I was in the water, and I began to feel intense exhaustion after being awake for so many hours. I announced my intentions of taking a nap. The midwife said she would like to do an internal exam first, and when she found I was still only dilated 8 cm, she said I needed to stay up and moving around. She was concerned that I had not progressed for a few hours. I felt disappointed at her verdict, and again, was starting to feel sleep deprivation creeping up on me. My midwife’s concern sparked a bit of fear in my heart. She told me this stalled labor was a complication and began discussing changes that needed to be made to my birth plan. Again, a “change of plans” script would have been valuable at this point!! But we did not do it yet, I suppose because having never read this script, I did not realize how appropriate it would have been.I got pretty upset when the second time the antibiotic was administered, it wasn’t mixed with saline (or whatever they do to make it feel less intense). My hand became puffy like a balloon, fingers unbendable, and it throbbed horribly. I asked to have the hep lock removed after the dose of antibiotic was finished and the request was denied because of safety reasons. I did a fear release session and realized my #1 fear was conflict with my midwife. We had only met once before the birth. I felt very uncomfortable with how we communicated with each other.
Late First Stage
I began to suspect the midwife did not accept or encourage my efforts at using hypnosis. For example, she accused me once of being “TOO relaxed,” implying that my comfortable state was part of the problem for why labor had stalled in the first place (as if the labor would start progressing once I got stressed and tense?). Furthermore, she kept forgetting to use the hypnotic language I requested (calling pressure waves “contractions,” etc.). We ended up needing to break my waters, and administer pitocin. After these steps, I was relieved to find the birthing waves resumed with a passion. The waves felt powerful in a way that overwhelmed me at times. I remember going completely limp during one pressure wave, turning my switch to "OFF" but then suddenly felt the wave grow more intense as I relaxed. The increased intensity startled me, so I turned my switch back to "CENTER" and sat up. During transformation (Hypnobabies speak for transition), the sensations rushed up and down my whole body in an indescribable flood of shaking, chills, vomiting, and so forth. I do not recall feeling pain during this time, but rather just feeling satisfied when I finally threw up. The vomit was pink and chunky because I had recently eaten pizza, scrambled eggs, and cranberry juice. I am thankful the birthing center let me keep eating whatever I wanted all throughout the birthing time.
I began to suspect the midwife did not accept or encourage my efforts at using hypnosis. For example, she accused me once of being “TOO relaxed,” implying that my comfortable state was part of the problem for why labor had stalled in the first place (as if the labor would start progressing once I got stressed and tense?). Furthermore, she kept forgetting to use the hypnotic language I requested (calling pressure waves “contractions,” etc.). We ended up needing to break my waters, and administer pitocin. After these steps, I was relieved to find the birthing waves resumed with a passion. The waves felt powerful in a way that overwhelmed me at times. I remember going completely limp during one pressure wave, turning my switch to "OFF" but then suddenly felt the wave grow more intense as I relaxed. The increased intensity startled me, so I turned my switch back to "CENTER" and sat up. During transformation (Hypnobabies speak for transition), the sensations rushed up and down my whole body in an indescribable flood of shaking, chills, vomiting, and so forth. I do not recall feeling pain during this time, but rather just feeling satisfied when I finally threw up. The vomit was pink and chunky because I had recently eaten pizza, scrambled eggs, and cranberry juice. I am thankful the birthing center let me keep eating whatever I wanted all throughout the birthing time.
Pushing
The midwife did another internal exam and as per my request, did not tell me dilation. But later my doula told me I was a 9 at that point. During pushing, I felt a little confused about when I was having a pressure wave, because it felt like they were happening constantly. I ended up needing to rub the palm of my hand over my belly to discern the changes in firmness on abdominal surface that would tell me when a wave came. Contrary to my birth plan, the midwife directed my pushing (“You do much better laying down,” she kept saying), but at that point in the birth I had decided to just do whatever she wanted in order to reduce the feeling of conflict that had so disturbed me earlier in the day. She did internal monitoring for the last half of pushing, pulled/turned my baby’s head as he crowned, and had the umbilical cord cut right away rather than waiting a few minutes for it to stop pulsating (though she did let my husband cut the cord). Again, I felt some dismay when each of these interventions happened, but consciously chose to let the annoyances slide. I just wanted to keep the peace with my midwife for the time being, figuring that was the way I could most easily focus on birthing my baby. It had taken a lot of emotional strength out of me to have earlier discussions with the midwife.
Near the time my Little Tam crowned, the midwife told me since there was meconium when my waters broke, I would not be able to hold the baby immediately if he emerged without crying. She said if he was not crying, he needed to be checked by a pediatrician right away. Again, I chose to just nod and not even discuss the issue. But I started praying fervently in my heart that the baby would come out crying loud and clear, so I would be allowed to hold him. As I pushed, I sometimes glanced at the clock and said things like, "I do not know how much longer I can keep going," because I felt such intense exhaustion. Off and on, the thought crossed my mind that if I took medication, I would be able to sleep. But I simultaneously had the thought that my baby could be born any minute, so I would just hang in there and keep going. I felt so tired, and wanted to sleep but still kept focused on my goals. We had the hypnosis script playing out loud in the room for most of the birth, and flashes of it reached me when I needed them most; statements like, "I am grateful for my caregivers." Though my eyes saw the clock, my brain never registered what time it was. Afterward, when I heard the pushing lasted 3 hours, I sincerely felt disbelief. It felt like somewhere between 15-30 minutes to me. My husband kept telling me, "with every push our baby gets a little closer!" I felt so encouraged, but a few days after the birth he told me he was lying: "Many of your pushes didn't seem to be doing anything." Haha. My sweet husband also helped by holding out a straw for me to sip drinks of juice and water in between every push.
I often made a purposeful low register groan while pushing, in order to encourage my throat/bottom track to stay open. I was very conscious and intentional throughout the entire pushing stage. Vocalizing brought me a sense of power, and again, I do not recall feeling pain at this point of the birth, though when the midwife stretched/massaged my perineum toward the end I told her, "OOOKay, now THAT hurts." It caught me by surprise.
Once my baby's head came out, the rest of his body slid quickly after. He had been holding his fist up against his head, in a superman pose, which might have been part of the reason it took so long to get him through the birth canal. My prayers that I would be able to hold him right away were answered when upon entering the world he immediately started screaming, a beautifully strong sound. I reached and pulled him up to my chest. "Baby!" My husband began weeping, and together we inspected our child, marveling at all his perfect little parts. Baby and I got to cuddle a bit with blankets over us, but it seemed like all too soon he was taken away to be checked by the pediatrician. After being checked and cleaned up a bit he was returned to me.
Once my baby's head came out, the rest of his body slid quickly after. He had been holding his fist up against his head, in a superman pose, which might have been part of the reason it took so long to get him through the birth canal. My prayers that I would be able to hold him right away were answered when upon entering the world he immediately started screaming, a beautifully strong sound. I reached and pulled him up to my chest. "Baby!" My husband began weeping, and together we inspected our child, marveling at all his perfect little parts. Baby and I got to cuddle a bit with blankets over us, but it seemed like all too soon he was taken away to be checked by the pediatrician. After being checked and cleaned up a bit he was returned to me.
A few hours after his birth, the staff noticed respiratory distres
s and he was sent to a neighboring hospital's NICU since the birth center wasn't equipped to handle an infection like his. The next day when I discharged and joined him at that location, I was told by a doctor, "you and your baby are not a priority," because apparently Little Tam wasn't THAT sick, and the hospital was overflowing beyond capacity. But I needed help figuring out breastfeeding, and felt like even if we were all physically stable, I was mentally in need of being made a priority. So I found myself in tears, and when that doctor came back a bit later and saw me crying he asked, "what happened?" With a surge of hormonal indignation I told him, "Oh, I don't know; maybe I just had a baby?!" My husband reminded me to be polite, and a lactation con
sultant was soon sent our way. Breastfeeding since then has been a highlight of motherhood for me. While we at first felt discouraged that we could not take our baby home right away, it became apparent there were a lot of silver linings to us getting to stay in the hospital with him. Primarily, it gave us new parents easy access to a team of doctors and nurses who demonstrated all the tricks to caring for a newborn. By the time we came home with Little Tam a week later, we felt confident in how to care for him. Also, prior to our baby entering NICU, I had been snobbish about the use of pacifiers and bottles, figuring they were tools of the devil to thwart my efforts at breastfeeding. Now however, I realize they are great! They certainly have not hindered breastfeeding like I originally feared they might, and instead can be used to comfort Little when I am not with him.
s and he was sent to a neighboring hospital's NICU since the birth center wasn't equipped to handle an infection like his. The next day when I discharged and joined him at that location, I was told by a doctor, "you and your baby are not a priority," because apparently Little Tam wasn't THAT sick, and the hospital was overflowing beyond capacity. But I needed help figuring out breastfeeding, and felt like even if we were all physically stable, I was mentally in need of being made a priority. So I found myself in tears, and when that doctor came back a bit later and saw me crying he asked, "what happened?" With a surge of hormonal indignation I told him, "Oh, I don't know; maybe I just had a baby?!" My husband reminded me to be polite, and a lactation con
sultant was soon sent our way. Breastfeeding since then has been a highlight of motherhood for me. While we at first felt discouraged that we could not take our baby home right away, it became apparent there were a lot of silver linings to us getting to stay in the hospital with him. Primarily, it gave us new parents easy access to a team of doctors and nurses who demonstrated all the tricks to caring for a newborn. By the time we came home with Little Tam a week later, we felt confident in how to care for him. Also, prior to our baby entering NICU, I had been snobbish about the use of pacifiers and bottles, figuring they were tools of the devil to thwart my efforts at breastfeeding. Now however, I realize they are great! They certainly have not hindered breastfeeding like I originally feared they might, and instead can be used to comfort Little when I am not with him. To recap birth stats: 8 lbs. 4 oz., 21 inches, born at 6:28 AM on November 2, 2009. Including daylight savings, we were awake for over 50 hours, and labor lasted 30-something hours?
One month after the birth, we are happy and thriving. Stats from well child checkup today: 23 inches long, 11 lbs, head circumference 38 cm. He is in approx. the 75th percentile for length and weight, and the 50th percentile for head size. Proud of our beautiful boy.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
18 Days Later...
Say hello to the newest member of the Tam Fam: High Ho Silver? Bah, let's just say her name is still pending.
Our cute little ol' Pontiac gave out a couple weeks back (18 days ago, to be precise), and we had a minor crisis on our hands finagling transportation. Thank you to friends, city busses, U-Haul rentals, Enterprise rentals, and our own feet who stepped forward to help during this time period. We went through a grieving process of sorts as it became apparent we needed to find a replacement car, rather than fixing the old one. Conveniently both Jerry and I have equal commitment to use caution in making big decisions, so we patiently slogged through number crunching, researching brands, models, dealerships, and financial options to get something that would be a good value for us. We lived the slogan, "Pray as though it all depends on the Lord, but work as though it all depends on YOU." It appears the work and prayers paid off. We found this sweet sedan that cleared all our careful background checking and fulfilled our list of "must haves;" we finalized payment on it this morning (the best part: didn't need to take out a loan for it--totally stretching us, but feels great at the same time!)...so life is good. We are now the happy owners of a 2002 Mazda 626.
We have 5 more free auto checks left on our autofax account, so if anybody else out there is considering a used car purchase in the next month or so, let us know! We can run the VIN number for you for free, first come first served. It is a nice way to narrow the search so you don't have to go looking at cars that don't already meet your standards from the beginning. And it can help you be more confident and effective in the bargaining process. Also, in case anybody did not already know this resource, the BBB is another great tool. It saved us more than once from making a potentially bad decision in our car purchase process. For example, we found a great deal on a car from one dealership, but then checked with the BBB and found the business had a rating of "F" (failing, as in, a school grade of "F") for being unresponsive to consumer complaints over the last three years. So we decided to start our shopping at only the businesses that cleared our BBB check first. It made our decision-making a lot less stressful. We wish we had shopped around like that for mechanics when we first moved here.
The whole experience gave us some tender teaching moments from the Lord. We had been praying for our old car to keep running. When it became apparent those prayers were not being answered in the affirmative, we started purposefully looking for what lessons the Lord was intending us to take from this challenge--and indeed, we found some gems. They are, for the most part, personal lessons, so we will not elaborate here. Some are intangible, faith-promoting lessons, but we also feel like this whole car issue has been a temporal blessing to us, because it has given us a renewed commitment to keep our rainy day fund strong. It feels a lot easier now to be self-disciplined in spending. Suffice to say we are glad for this little trial--and really grateful for the happy ending. We spent a few minutes just staring at our car in the driveway when we first brought it home, basking in feelings of satisfaction.
Our cute little ol' Pontiac gave out a couple weeks back (18 days ago, to be precise), and we had a minor crisis on our hands finagling transportation. Thank you to friends, city busses, U-Haul rentals, Enterprise rentals, and our own feet who stepped forward to help during this time period. We went through a grieving process of sorts as it became apparent we needed to find a replacement car, rather than fixing the old one. Conveniently both Jerry and I have equal commitment to use caution in making big decisions, so we patiently slogged through number crunching, researching brands, models, dealerships, and financial options to get something that would be a good value for us. We lived the slogan, "Pray as though it all depends on the Lord, but work as though it all depends on YOU." It appears the work and prayers paid off. We found this sweet sedan that cleared all our careful background checking and fulfilled our list of "must haves;" we finalized payment on it this morning (the best part: didn't need to take out a loan for it--totally stretching us, but feels great at the same time!)...so life is good. We are now the happy owners of a 2002 Mazda 626.We have 5 more free auto checks left on our autofax account, so if anybody else out there is considering a used car purchase in the next month or so, let us know! We can run the VIN number for you for free, first come first served. It is a nice way to narrow the search so you don't have to go looking at cars that don't already meet your standards from the beginning. And it can help you be more confident and effective in the bargaining process. Also, in case anybody did not already know this resource, the BBB is another great tool. It saved us more than once from making a potentially bad decision in our car purchase process. For example, we found a great deal on a car from one dealership, but then checked with the BBB and found the business had a rating of "F" (failing, as in, a school grade of "F") for being unresponsive to consumer complaints over the last three years. So we decided to start our shopping at only the businesses that cleared our BBB check first. It made our decision-making a lot less stressful. We wish we had shopped around like that for mechanics when we first moved here.
The whole experience gave us some tender teaching moments from the Lord. We had been praying for our old car to keep running. When it became apparent those prayers were not being answered in the affirmative, we started purposefully looking for what lessons the Lord was intending us to take from this challenge--and indeed, we found some gems. They are, for the most part, personal lessons, so we will not elaborate here. Some are intangible, faith-promoting lessons, but we also feel like this whole car issue has been a temporal blessing to us, because it has given us a renewed commitment to keep our rainy day fund strong. It feels a lot easier now to be self-disciplined in spending. Suffice to say we are glad for this little trial--and really grateful for the happy ending. We spent a few minutes just staring at our car in the driveway when we first brought it home, basking in feelings of satisfaction.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Meet the newest...
Our congregation here is flourishing. We have a lot of recent converts, and the newest one got confirmed a member of our church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, this past Sunday. Jerry got to stand in the circle at her confirmation to lay hands on her head while she received the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I loved seeing the glow on this newest member's face as she accepted God's help in her life.
Susan's story is perfect: searching for decades, prepared by God in every way imaginable, and humbly accepting of truth when she found it. We introduced ourselves to her the first Sunday she came to church, just a few weeks ago, and felt instantly how special she was. What an honor to fellowship her--and how amazing to see her progress to baptism so promptly! Many people get distracted at some point during the initial learning process, or they experience difficulty keeping commitments that will lead to baptism and membership in the church. But Susan has a way of jumping in with both feet and giving her whole heart to God. As we see her joy, our own gratitude for the gospel of Jesus Christ grows. Thanks for letting us learn with you, Susan! We love you!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Seriously so blessed WINNER!!
Jerry always laughs at my appreciation for the witty, satirical blog seriouslysoblessed. (though I know that secretly he, too, finds at least parts of it amusing)...Anyway. There are regular giveaways on the blog, and I always enter my name for the random prize drawing, and then later help Jerry enter HIS name, because there is one entry allowed per person.
Out of 1,555 entries, and only about a dozen winners, guess who just won a glorious prize in this past week's giveaway...!?
HUSBYTAM!!
Oh, I find it hilarious and wonderful. Our winner is receiving a how-to-/tips book for first time home buyers, and a $50 giftcard to Amazon. (Thanks to our sponsor Liahona Realtors). It was pretty special to get a personalized email from TAMN herself, in which she noted the uncanny resemblance of our name to hers.
Yesterday evening in our scripture study, we came across a verse where Joseph Smith receives $50 from a kind benefactor, Martin Harris. It got me thinking how there are no coincidences in life, and Joseph's $50 clearly came from the Lord, albeit through Martin Harris. Is it blasphemous for me to decide this random drawing prize for Jerry is actually coming to him from Heavenly Father? Here's my reasoning: in trying to save all the money we can these days (the goal is to completely pay off our student loans by the time Little Tam arrives), Jerry told me he wants nothing for his birthday next month except a home-made birthday cake from his loving wife's hands. I acquiesced because I knew there was no talking him out of a sacrifice once he has his heart set on making it. But now that an Amazon giftcard is coming our way, we decided I could use it to pick out a birthday gift to surprise Jerry when his big day rolls around. Granted, he did stipulate I have to pick out something practical for him, something he needs already, and then he even shrugged, "spend it on yourself or the baby if you see something either of you need instead." Crazyface, of COURSE I am using the giftcard for my sweetheart only! And I will make a tag for the gift I choose which says, "Happy Birthday, From Heavenly Father."
Out of 1,555 entries, and only about a dozen winners, guess who just won a glorious prize in this past week's giveaway...!?
HUSBYTAM!!
Oh, I find it hilarious and wonderful. Our winner is receiving a how-to-/tips book for first time home buyers, and a $50 giftcard to Amazon. (Thanks to our sponsor Liahona Realtors). It was pretty special to get a personalized email from TAMN herself, in which she noted the uncanny resemblance of our name to hers.
Yesterday evening in our scripture study, we came across a verse where Joseph Smith receives $50 from a kind benefactor, Martin Harris. It got me thinking how there are no coincidences in life, and Joseph's $50 clearly came from the Lord, albeit through Martin Harris. Is it blasphemous for me to decide this random drawing prize for Jerry is actually coming to him from Heavenly Father? Here's my reasoning: in trying to save all the money we can these days (the goal is to completely pay off our student loans by the time Little Tam arrives), Jerry told me he wants nothing for his birthday next month except a home-made birthday cake from his loving wife's hands. I acquiesced because I knew there was no talking him out of a sacrifice once he has his heart set on making it. But now that an Amazon giftcard is coming our way, we decided I could use it to pick out a birthday gift to surprise Jerry when his big day rolls around. Granted, he did stipulate I have to pick out something practical for him, something he needs already, and then he even shrugged, "spend it on yourself or the baby if you see something either of you need instead." Crazyface, of COURSE I am using the giftcard for my sweetheart only! And I will make a tag for the gift I choose which says, "Happy Birthday, From Heavenly Father."
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Moving Meltdown and a Miracle
When we spoke to our moving consultants again today, they gave a new estimate of when our household goods will arrive: between 6 and 21 days from next Tuesday. About three weeks longer than we originally anticipated. Our cheerful "camping" in the new apartment will probably not be as enjoyable several weeks from now, and to be honest, after just the past couple days of experiencing overly simplistic living, disillusionment has already begun to set in. So I searched this morning online and found a few deals on Craig's List to purchase temporary furniture, tiding us over until our regular goods will arrive.
However, this afternoon our attempt to get a futon from one of the Craig's List postings fell through. How good it would have felt to sit on something soft, something besides either the floor or one of the hard kitchen chairs we recently picked up from Goodwill! As we drove away from the seller's house, self-pity, pregnancy hormones, sleep deprivation (apparently the air mattress just isn't doing enough for me), and who knows what else combined to trigger a meltdown. Suffice to say my eyes were puffy and my nose sniffling as we pulled our U-haul truck into our apartment's parking space. We had prayed so much about this move; I caught myself returning to prior pleas to the Lord that all would go smoothly. THEN, before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt, came the miracle!
An elderly neighbor of ours hobbled up to our truck. Without even introducing himself, he asked Jerry, "Are you the boss around here? Could you please help me get rid of a sleeper couch?"
Speechless for a good 10 seconds, Jerry and I finally told the man, "You are an answer to prayer!" I briefly outlined our situation, and how grateful we would be to take the sleeper couch. We immediately went to his home, but the couch proved too heavy to move without at least one extra pair of hands. Recalling our realtor had mentioned selling a different unit in our complex lately, I telephoned her and asked if she would contact the buyer to request his help in moving our couch. Within minutes, this kind neighbor was at our side, and in yet another few minutes, he and Jerry had moved the couch up to our condo.
The couch is amazing. Used for only about 10 years by a clean little old man, it seems nearly new, and the color matches our curtains, and--and--I could go on and on! How perfectly it fits my needs and wants! I feel thrilled to sleep on its mattress tonight, which is more comfortable to me than the air mattress. I am relishing the softy seat cushions, as I now have a place to cuddle up with one of my new library books. Suddenly the weeks until our household goods arrive seem bearable. Nay, even enjoyable. It might be overly obvious to say it, but I will forever regard this experience as a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father. He knows how to direct even the smallest parts of life, and though He sometimes chooses to withold aid for His own wise purposes, I am grateful this day He saw fit to give us a couch.
However, this afternoon our attempt to get a futon from one of the Craig's List postings fell through. How good it would have felt to sit on something soft, something besides either the floor or one of the hard kitchen chairs we recently picked up from Goodwill! As we drove away from the seller's house, self-pity, pregnancy hormones, sleep deprivation (apparently the air mattress just isn't doing enough for me), and who knows what else combined to trigger a meltdown. Suffice to say my eyes were puffy and my nose sniffling as we pulled our U-haul truck into our apartment's parking space. We had prayed so much about this move; I caught myself returning to prior pleas to the Lord that all would go smoothly. THEN, before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt, came the miracle!
An elderly neighbor of ours hobbled up to our truck. Without even introducing himself, he asked Jerry, "Are you the boss around here? Could you please help me get rid of a sleeper couch?"
Speechless for a good 10 seconds, Jerry and I finally told the man, "You are an answer to prayer!" I briefly outlined our situation, and how grateful we would be to take the sleeper couch. We immediately went to his home, but the couch proved too heavy to move without at least one extra pair of hands. Recalling our realtor had mentioned selling a different unit in our complex lately, I telephoned her and asked if she would contact the buyer to request his help in moving our couch. Within minutes, this kind neighbor was at our side, and in yet another few minutes, he and Jerry had moved the couch up to our condo.
The couch is amazing. Used for only about 10 years by a clean little old man, it seems nearly new, and the color matches our curtains, and--and--I could go on and on! How perfectly it fits my needs and wants! I feel thrilled to sleep on its mattress tonight, which is more comfortable to me than the air mattress. I am relishing the softy seat cushions, as I now have a place to cuddle up with one of my new library books. Suddenly the weeks until our household goods arrive seem bearable. Nay, even enjoyable. It might be overly obvious to say it, but I will forever regard this experience as a tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father. He knows how to direct even the smallest parts of life, and though He sometimes chooses to withold aid for His own wise purposes, I am grateful this day He saw fit to give us a couch.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Neuroticism's Unexpected Benefit
Ever have that sinking feeling as you make a comment, when the thoughts that feel brilliant in your heart fail to emerge from your mouth as intended? I have these moments frequently as I attend courses here at university. Sometimes the disappointed feeling with my class comments lingers into the night, and I keep myself awake with repeated admonitions in my mind: "This is what I really meant to say." Of course I try to stop obsessing and figure the moment is past--so it does no good to rehearse what I wish I would have said, right?
Perhaps not; perhaps those anxiety-filled rehearsals have some benefit afterall. During the second day of class this semester, I made a comment that fit the above-paragraph's description. It left me troubled for weeks, during which time I formulated the exact words I wished I would have said. I even rehearsed the speech to my husband. "See?" I complained. "Why couldn't it have just come out that way in the first place?" He gave me encouraging feedback, and I felt mollified, but figured the moment to use those brilliant words would never come.
But it did. Yesterday, the exact topic that had left me with a verbal fumble months ago rose again in class discussion. My heart sprang into action, pumping the words I wished I would have said straight to my brain. My hand rose in the air, and with a perfection that only comes through practice, I delivered the message intended. My words flowed with precision, art, and poise. My teacher wrote my comment on the board, asking the class to contemplate it in preparation for where future discussion would go. I felt triumphant, strong. My feet marched a victor's stride out the classroom door and I thanked God for my neurotic, rehearsal-prone brain.
Perhaps not; perhaps those anxiety-filled rehearsals have some benefit afterall. During the second day of class this semester, I made a comment that fit the above-paragraph's description. It left me troubled for weeks, during which time I formulated the exact words I wished I would have said. I even rehearsed the speech to my husband. "See?" I complained. "Why couldn't it have just come out that way in the first place?" He gave me encouraging feedback, and I felt mollified, but figured the moment to use those brilliant words would never come.
But it did. Yesterday, the exact topic that had left me with a verbal fumble months ago rose again in class discussion. My heart sprang into action, pumping the words I wished I would have said straight to my brain. My hand rose in the air, and with a perfection that only comes through practice, I delivered the message intended. My words flowed with precision, art, and poise. My teacher wrote my comment on the board, asking the class to contemplate it in preparation for where future discussion would go. I felt triumphant, strong. My feet marched a victor's stride out the classroom door and I thanked God for my neurotic, rehearsal-prone brain.
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